The power of your thoughts and desires has been shown to me again today. And how often i forget that god answers your requests, though not always immediately. And at times i forget, and wonder what i am doing in a certain place or situation, one that ¨does not please me¨ and then i realize it is precisely what i wished for or asked for some time before. And when my eyes are closed, i often complain internally and ask for something else – never satisfied so it seems. And i wonder why god doesn´t get fed up, tell my to shut up and just make up my mind, why god continues to listen to me and answer my prayers. Especially since i often don´t really know what i want, or more important, what i need.
I have been in San Cristobal, MX for a few days now. It is a lovely city but i am going antsy with the intensity of the place and walk around in circles, though i know in reality it is quite calm, still it is a city. And i have spent much of my time here wondering where to next, and questioning the path that led me here. This morning i got up earlyish, and went and sat in the zocalo, drinking a coffee, listening to the birds and watching the town centre awake. I became calm and though this is precisely what i asked for several months ago – a cute town with cafes, a cheap place to stay, internet where i could write, town squares with trees where people gather, and wow i am here. And i thank god for that.
Still, i often do not really know what i want, or do not clearly voice my deepest desires and needs and seek a way out of what is – instead of being with it. And more importantly, i do not listen to god, feel that i cannot hear, when i ask for direction on what i should be doing, on what i really need. And i think i am answered, but am too caught up in my own plans, or resist, and do not listen.
I am thankful and grateful and i will try to leave out the but… I will not resist, and see how i have called a place, person or situation forward. And i will be more clear in what i request from the universe, from god, for thought are forms and are creative in and of themselves. Thank you. I have asked you to direct me since i am unclear, and please help me listen to and see your message, and open my heart to it and not shut down to it.

