God, the universe, responding to requests

The power of your thoughts and desires has been shown to me again today. And how often i forget that god answers your requests, though not always immediately. And at times i forget, and wonder what i am doing in a certain place or situation, one that ¨does not please me¨ and then i realize it is precisely what i wished for or asked for some time before. And when my eyes are closed, i often complain internally and ask for something else – never satisfied so it seems. And i wonder why god doesn´t get fed up, tell my to shut up and just make up my mind, why god continues to listen to me and answer my prayers. Especially since i often don´t really know what i want, or more important, what i need.

I have been in San Cristobal, MX for a few days now. It is a lovely city but i am going antsy with the intensity of the place and walk around in circles, though i know in reality it is quite calm, still it is a city. And i have spent much of my time here wondering where to next, and questioning the path that led me here. This morning i got up earlyish, and went and sat in the zocalo, drinking a coffee, listening to the birds and watching the town centre awake. I became calm and though this is precisely what i asked for several months ago – a cute town with cafes, a cheap place to stay, internet where i could write, town squares with trees where people gather, and wow i am here. And i thank god for that.

Still, i often do not really know what i want, or do not clearly voice my deepest desires and needs and seek a way out of what is – instead of being with it. And more importantly, i do not listen to god, feel that i cannot hear, when i ask for direction on what i should be doing, on what i really need. And i think i am answered, but am too caught up in my own plans, or resist, and do not listen.

I am thankful and grateful and i will try to leave out the but… I will  not  resist, and see how i have called a place, person or situation forward. And i will  be more clear in what i request from the universe, from god, for thought are forms and are creative in and of themselves. Thank you. I have asked you to direct me since i am unclear, and please help me listen to and see your message, and open my heart to it and not shut down to it.
signature_001.gif

the power of a smile

the power of a smile
to change a day
light the candle inside one
and two and three
it is contagious
can brighten a moment
the simple act
of lips curled upwards
reflecting a true joy
or love
or compassion
or just being

i try to remember to smile
through i know that i dont always do so
i am reminded when one smiles at me
when i am sad
and i try to smile at all

i have come to a city
from a peublo if that
a place where people greeted each other
a word
or often a smile
and here in some places i do so consciously
for its power comes forth
for many blank faces
or sad or tired or discontented or distaining or proud faces walk the streets
and then i find myself smiling less

at first not knowing why
my mood shifts
and then i see
and try to smile some more
and even deeper when it is returned

i watched some dogs in the park
and it reminded me
why i love to watch dogs
they smile as they run and walk and sniff
it is natural
unconscious
a smile is powerful
and can spread joy.

glimpses of beauty and joy

the birds singing in the trees
in a park
or by the lake
a fountain
a butterfly
flowers by the path
children playing and laughing
the dog who runs on three legs wagging his tail
the moment the mountains seemed crisp and clear
sacred and classical music in a museam
the light at dawn and sunset
a smile returned

shadows dancing

i fall back
just as i feel i am moving forward
make new vows
and a challenge spits me in the face
the light shines bright
and storm comes in from nowhere
raining down upon the ground
and i want to stomp my feet
crawl back into the cave
hide away once again
feel that i have failed
yet one more time
the shadows come crawling out
haunting
dancing in the light
making faces and gestures
coming at you strong
i want to run back
but each time i do they get to rest
and strengthen themselves
like an incomplete dose of antibiotics
can i shine the light
make them visible
keep the light shining on
burn them away
watch them contort and scream aloud
as they burn off
watch calming
letting them go
not pouring water to douse the fire
letting it shine light through

meditation for light within

a meditation when my mind does wander
and petty thoughts come bubbling up
i look into the light
the light of consciousness
the holy spirit
to enter inside
so that i may hear the word of god
without my own chatter entering in
that part of me that insists that i know
to clear my eyes so i can see
clearly
that kernal of light in all
to see the glory of creation
to not turn away from that i do not wish to face
to not be blinded by the big me inside
to take away the haze
the blindfolds
the rose coloured glasses
and to see the energy in all
the glow
and to clear my mind
so that i may percieve
to gather insights
into the world
not jumping forward with conclusions
or preconsceptions
insisting that i know
the world defined large
in all that be
to clear the lump in my throat
so i may sing
of joy
and speak the truth
but gently
to disolve the blocks
where energy does not flow
the places where i still hold on
to past energy
that make me heavy and clouded
and most of all
to light my heart
so i can feel gods love
and so i can spread love
and light to all.

for the moments that i am quiet inside
all becomes clear
light does shine.

Starting the fire within

Sometimes it seems like dreams are gone – hopefully to be rekindled.

You need to feed your dreams or they die.

Light a fire

If there is a small fire within and you keep on feeding it, even with twigs and other small kindling and can keep the coals glowing, how much easier it is to begin again.

When it is extinguished, left to go out in the wind or the rain, or just not fed, how much more difficult it is to start – especially in the rain with damp wood.

When it is out, you need to begin to gather kindling, paper and the larger logs that will more enduring but with which you cannot start a fire by itself. You need to build it slowly, on a solid foundation, if it is to last.

At times the materials are near at hand, you may gather them for free, or you may have a stockpile that you have set aside, or one that may have been left by another – just for you or left behind. At times you must purchase what you need or go far afield to find the wood. For starter twigs may be near at hand, paper that you would through out but that you can use, what would be waste you can use. But don’t burn just garbage, the fire may smolder and the smell might be putrid.

And you will need a lighter or matches, the hot coal that wanderers of old did carry, a flint or if you are skilled two sticks to rub together. A spark that comes from somewhere.

And you must exert some effort to start it – yes for much of your life you might have watched others start a fire, or had one built for you, but it is important to learn to do for yourself. When you stare at the empty fire pit it can seem overwhelming but just staring at it and mooning about it will not get the fire started. Yes, someone might come along and offer help – this time – but you may eventually find yourself alone. At times is may come easily – the paper, wood and twigs are dry as it the night, but other times it may be more difficult when all is wet and damp, or just for some reason will not light. You may want to give up, and shiver in the dark, but have faith. Sometimes you may run out of matched, or the fire starter is in short supply.

At times the night be warm and light and do you need one? Will it spread beyond your control? Light the whole forest ablaze? or do you have the fire within . Will a single candle suffice?

I never knew how to start a fire but eventually i learned – i am still not great at it, some burn strong and other want to smolder, but i keep lighting fires where ever i go.

I started this entry months ago and now i realize that i let the fire within me die and as it died it shot out embers burning others and burning bridges. The fire inside is the one that counts – not only to light it to watch it die but to remember to keep on feeding it, valueing it, containing it, shining it, do not smother it or douse it in your tears of pity or anquish, but keep it aglow, even when you do not feel like getting up from the remaining warmth, or you want to put it out so you can crawl under the covers that shut out the light and sleep, sleep in more ways than one, in the sleep that is comfortable and seemingly safe.

But keep the light aglow, and to keep it steady is the harder challenge – keep not only the coal alive, that the you carry with you, but also the flame, the flame of god and life.

Christmas Eve

I have failed to light the candles this past month

as i wander upon uncharted territory

i carry my baggage upon my back

and emotions and feelings return

those which i though i had dropped

and left behind

and in this new land

a cloud appears upon my brain

and in my eyes and ears

i do not see or hear

but on this eve,

on this day,

i will give myself a present

i will light a candle tonight

keep on lighting them

though at times the rain inside is great

though the sky above is a bright blue

i will remember what i have written

and try once again

to live by the words of the lord

and remember the light he carried within

will visit the monuments to him

and remember the true spirit of christmas

instead of grumble about what it has become

or moan my aloneness on this day

for a candle needs to be lit.

Lamp on a stand

It is only by sharing and giving and loving and kindness that we light our lamps and walk towards god.

 No one lights a lamp and hides in a jar or puts it under a bed. instead he puts it on a stand, so that all those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:18

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way let your light shine before men… Matthew 5:13-15

Yet how often do we hide our light away, seeking to protect it and ourselves, believing that it is safest to do so? Fearing that if we put our candle out on the stand that it may be blown out in the wind? For how many times have many of us been told to do so, often by the ones who love and care for us, the ones who want to keep us safe? And we may have believed that a glass bowl is the only protection from those who howl and blow mightedly with hurricane gales only to learn too late that a lack of oxygen suffocates the flame.

 Although we may become afraid to rekindle the fire that lies within,  the embers lie buried deep inside, and we know that we must. So we step close to a burning light and allow its flames to spark our lamp, and begin to shine once again, first within and then without.

We may fear shining too brightly for our light  casts shadows on the darkness around. There are those who will seek to snuff us out, for their shadows have become more visible when exposed to light. We are tempted to judge and condemn them for doing so, but it is their very judgement and criticism that makes us want to crawl back under the bed. If we succumb, we add to the darkness itself, dousing not only our own flame, however feeble, but also of those around. At times, i am tempted to burn them through or hide away.

Then I remember that I lit my candle off another. And i wonder, how many times have i seen my shadows and run away or thrown water or blown mightedly at a light that was greater than my own. And there are many times that i have, but it was the darkness inside, and not the light that led me to do so. And i remember, that in order to spark my flame, the light was not hidden away, but it was visible and available even through the fog and on a stormy night and it shone on me.

So i will place my lamp upon the stand and add light to those around. And i will remember a light of compassion and understanding when the forces grow dark. For it is only light that crowds out darkess, and the more light that shines the more it grows, and the easier it becomes to find a flame when the winds become so strong. Let there be light!

Give Thanks Each Day

Years ago, when all hung heavily around me  I read about a simple tool and decided to try it for a while. It was to write down 10 things each day that i was thankful for.  At first it seemed next to impossible for what i saw were shortcomings and problems and i found it difficult not to criticize or add a but… At the beginning i would have to force myself and delve inside to find 10 good things. I would not know what to be thankful for and would go for the obvious, the food i ate, the bed i slept in, a sunny day, a public restroom when i desperately needed one. And i often did it without feeling, like the thanks we give to customers when we are working a cash register or when someone opens a door in front of us. At times, when i drew a blank and wrote down those things that i have been told to be thankful for i felt i was telling a lie and wondered it i were really an ungrateful soul. But i persevered and continued to write the words on paper and slowly i began to feel thankful and blessed.  

At first i would feel grateful for some of the grand experiences or things – a spectacular sunset, a majestic mountain, a gift from a friend, an unexpected chance or an answer to my prayers. And then i began to feel thankful when something appeared after an absence or a loss – a warm bed and dry socks after camping in the rain, good health after getting over a cold or a flu, trees flowering in the spring, income and a job after being unemployed and broke, a call from someone after spending too much time alone, time alone after being surrounded by people. For each of these and many more things i was grateful and recognized it – a first – but then i often became blase, took them granted and even began to grumble about the very thing i had been thankful for. And then i would forget to write down 10 things each day. But the lesson came back to me, and i would remember to give thanks each day once again. I finally learned how and it changed my vision of the world.

On those days where the light shines upon us and all those around and we float lightly upon the earth, it seems a simple task for we know there is much to be thankful for – our loved ones, be they near or far, people or pets, a kind word, a blue sky or clouds above, a good book or movie, a conversation overheard, the beauty of a street we walk down or of another’s face, a flower or a leaf on a tree, a parking spot, peace, joy - the list can be endless.  

But on those days where we “just know” that the entire world is conspiring against us, it can be tough – and it is on those very days when all we want to do is grumble that it is the most important to remember to do so – to add thanks to our grumblings. Sometimes we are forced to come up with something - anything. A simple smile from a stranger, that loved one who is presently driving us nuts, a bed to sleep in, food to eat even if it is just rice, potatoes or peanut butter sandwiched and we want for more, for that meal over at the next table. If it is pouring down rain upon us or we are shivering cold, remember the days when the sun shone endlessly and we prayed for rain or a break to the heat. If we were stuck in traffic, we can be thankful for the road, the car or transit, that we have somewhere to go.  Be thankful for that flower, even if it is but a dandelion, for the bird, even if it is a crow, seagull or pigeon, or the insects that buzz around for that is life. The sun, the moon, the stars  above, though they may be obscured, we know they are there. If nothing else seems to work, we can be thankful that we can write 10 things down, the we have a pen, pencil or keyboard,  the ability to read and write, eyes to see, fingers to use and that we are alive.

ur By thanking each day we remember to be grateful, not only on the good days, or when we get something or someone after an absence or a loss but all the time. It can show us what we truly value, and shine light on what we often overlook.  It make us feel more alive. And slowly, we may remember to pause and truly give thanks throughout the day.

For that simple tool i am thankful, for it helped teach me to be grateful and to open my eyes to the beauty of the world. Yes, there are days where i still grumble and complain, but i remember that light is there, and hopefully, i shine it through, even just a bit.

Thank You! 

And in doing so i reframed my vision and my focus.

My Daily Insights

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
 Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schwietzer

I receive quotes like this every day through www.mydailyinsights.com. They come to my inbox and I glance at them each day, and at times it is just that. Occasionally i just hit delete and do not read them at all. But they keep on coming and for that i am glad. For sometimes, often when i am least expecting it or most in need they truly speak to me and tell me what i needed to hear at the moment or provide the insight to something i am mulling over. At times they just make me smile.

And they are one of the many forms of kindling i gather into my life. The small things that can feed the fire, and provide the material needed to start it up again when it is burning low. And while we focus on the logs that will endure, at times we need the kindling as well – a good book, music, a brief meditation, a good stretch or movement of some sort, the right food, a nap, a kind word, a hug, the many tools that help us along the path. While they in themselves do not make a lasting flame (unless they are our logs), they can help it along, provide the spark. And for these i give thanks too. 

  

 

« Older entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.