I travel now, move quickly through time and space. The entry i had written in my journal yesterday seems so far away that i can no longer type it up here and that is fine. For if the emotions i felt were temporary, they will return, but i hope not for i was going to write about resentment, and that feeling is gone.
When you move through space, travel quickly, emotions bounce up and down, intense and near the surface. And they claim you for a moment. But what this reminds me, it that all is fleeting and passing through, nothing is permanent. And my movement makes the movement within much faster and deeper – nothing sticks around for long. And when i am in a negative zone where it feels so encompassing i must remember that it will pass. it may come back but that too will pass.
I will not write about resentment here, though i did in my journal. I had to let it pass through me through words. But if i write about it again, i will only return to that space where i do not wish to be. My emotions have been near the surface – the tears i shed on the plane because i forgot to bring headphones, so real, an internal meltdown, only to find there were some in the seat 0 and yes i could watch the film. All is raw, but that is good, all i felt for months in stability seems like a dream, as will this that i write.
